So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have post one night stand depression
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
