last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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