its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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