My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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