your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
