why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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