puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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