FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
