I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
