I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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