return my video game
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
