There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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