when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.