Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend