whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…