Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.