I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.