I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
