Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
