Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
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We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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