I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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