YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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