i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
