Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
