I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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