Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
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Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize