I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Michael Bay diarrhea
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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