I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
