I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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