she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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