I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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