I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i've created a new STD.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
