I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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