i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
