he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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