Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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