tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
