Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
