the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
