Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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