You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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