he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
