My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
