Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
