dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
