I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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