She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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