evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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