Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize