So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
