May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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