You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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