Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
