Me too!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
