he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
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But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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