I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
