well I can't set my house on fire every night
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
