They should really pass out barf bags in church
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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