Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
