she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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