For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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