Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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