you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
